


Mlem and Wuhluhwuh

by orphan_account



Category: Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood & Manga
Genre: Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Edward Elric Swears, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, I Don't Know What To Tag This?, M/M, Nonbinary Lan Fan, Sleepovers, Trans Edward Elric, Trans Winry Rockbell, adhd edward, also mei's 13 bc i couldn't find a solid age for her, autistic Edward, discussion of periods, i'm not kidding about the 'nobody dies' thing even trisha's alive, irrelevant but al and ed are black bb, might make it magic might not, paninya's a he/him lesbian but he's still figuring it out y'know, plot starts like three chapters in
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-11-13
Updated: 2018-12-06
Packaged: 2019-08-23 00:46:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 13,726
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16608632
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Winry, Ed, and Al have been having sleepovers for years.Its probably about time they invited someone else.





	1. Calling Out Comp Het

**Author's Note:**

> Probably needs some heavy editing and the title was just. BS.  
> notably the author (oh wow thats me) is nb, uhh. probably like bi or pan idek? chronically ill. chronic pain. chronic fatigue. autistic. uh h hh h. dumbass. teen. so like. hey. points for accuracy. probably.

Sleepovers were a long standing tradition with Winry and the Elric brothers. After their mother had their accident they had been in denial. Winry pretended not to see Edward staring blankly at the wall and holding his sleeping brother the first few weeks after they moved in whispering how mom would be home soon. Ed in particular was reluctant to accept their new home so every night Winry would invite them up to her room for a ‘sleepover’. They’d pull out sleeping bags and nail polish and all pretend that two of three of the participants were staying up because of a movie instead of nightmares.

Even though Ed had gotten emancipated and had Alphonse move in with him there were still days they all needed a sleepover. When Ed came out as trans, Winry as a lesbian, and Alphonse as asexual. If the phantom pains got too intense or Al got a flare up. The first time Winry got rejected by a girl and the time Edward beat said girl up for her homophobic slurs.

Winry’s room had seen a lot. Two different prosthetics, crutches, both Ed and Winry’s first periods where Ed insisted on cleaning the blood out of the sheets himself since it was too embarrassing to ask Winry’s gran. There was a little corner in the closet that Edward painted gold to comfort himself. Sleepovers were sacred. If one of them requested a sleepover they would drop everything, no questions asked. Winry generally left the bed for Al, took the couch for herself, and Edward slept in the closet like a true gay with a couple of pillows and a blanket to defend against the rough floor.

Admittedly, Winry had never thought to invite someone else. Most of elementary and middle school along with the first half of high school was remarkably devoid of any new friends. Ed and Al had a reputation both because of the accident and Edward’s ‘charming’ demeanor. Winry preferred to talk with them, always, and wouldn’t stand for any slander against them so she never made any friends either.

Paninya was the first to change that. On some level Winry thought Ed accepted her for respect of her bold actions. Stealing his pocket watch was a ballsy move even if it took a week of both of their apologies (food included) to get forgiveness for prying it open. Paninya fit in perfectly- she was brash and intelligent with a penchant for ignoring rules just like Ed. She didn’t accept financial help, but her criminal streak was calming with her new job.

Not that she didn’t still steal for fun, though.

Winry was extremely nervous to just invite her over. Alphonse had eagerly agreed, Ed a little less so, but the real problem was Win’s anxiety. She was a functional lesbian, but Paninya was. . .

“She’s so pretty and perfect and oh my gosh, Ed, have you seen her? She’s intelligent and kind and, and, and.” Edward mocked, sticking his tongue out at her from next to her on the couch.

“Yes, so pretty, pretty please, would you mind also inviting your disaster crush?” She batted her eyelashes for effect even as her friend recoiled dramatically.

“Uh, I think the fuck not?”

“Come on, brother, it's not like you’ll talk to him otherwise.” Alphonse sighed. He himself was well on his way to becoming a distinguished bi and having a disaster gay for a brother was probably the most frustrating part of his existence.

“What has Winry even said to Paninya outside of complimenting her prosthesis and complaining about her thefts?” He screeched, gesturing to her widely and nearly hitting her face.

“I told her I was a lesbian, that’s one step farther than you!”

“More like twelve.” Al laughed even as Ed scrambled to push him onto the floor and off the couch. He tried to push back, but fell into a heap anyways. It didn’t stop his wheezing laughter, though. “You’ve threatened to deck him before!”

“Yeah, and I didn’t! Better than most of my friendships!”

“Yet! What are you going to do when you have to stand on your tiptoes to kiss him?” He howled, covering his face with his arms. “Kick him in the shins?”

“I mean. . .”

“Please don’t consider that.” Winry sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose. “Just ask him to lean down.”

“Like that isn’t just as embarrassing!”

“I have the great pleasure of asking Paninya to remove her legs on a regular basis. When have our love lives not been embarrassing?”

“Speaking of,” Ed started in a conspiratorial tone making Alphonse freeze on the floor. “Didn’t Al insist to Mei over text before they met that he was much taller and better looking than me after figuring out she had a crush on-”

“She only had a crush on you because she didn’t know me yet.”

“Ohh! Can I offer you some ice for that burn?” Winry teased, knocking shoulders with Edward.

“Yeah, actually, my phantom pains are killing me.” He deadpanned back, turning to face her. “If you got me some ice I’d be obliged since we’re talking fancy.”

“You call ‘offer’ fancy? Geez, okay.” She paused. “Do you actually need ice or?”

“I’ve been sitting here in excruciating pain that I’ve been ignoring for the past ten minutes. Please.”

“What number would you give the pain?” She questioned, already running down to grab ice from the freezer.

“Like a four!” He called back. Al winced and finally climbed back onto the couch to put a sympathetic hand on his shoulder.

“So a seven on a normal person’s scale.” He sighed, resting his head on his shoulder. He could relate especially seeing his crutches propped up against the couch’s arm. He still had a nebulizer at Winry’s house, just in case.

“You’re one to talk, mister ‘I fell down a whole flight of stairs, but its like a three.’”

“Remember when your nose was quite literally broken by Lan Fan and you looked her dead in the eye and said you had worse?”

“When you were kidnapped being the naive shit that you are without any of your medications for a whole half day and insisted that your kidnapper be checked for wounds first.”

“When you fell off the roof doing parkour, broke your nose again and shorted out your leg in the fall, and refused to go to the hospital.”

“I don’t even want to know when that happened.” Winry muttered before forcing an icepack into Ed’s hand and giving one to Alphonse, too. “You, too, Al. I know you don’t act like it, but you’ll be aching from that push later. Ed, be nice to your brother.”

“Sure thing,” he paused with a devilish smirk. “Sis.” She hit him over the head with a pillow.

“That’s just gross! We both had a crush on each other as kids-”

“You know it was compulsive heterosexuality!”

“Did you have a crush on your sister, huh?” She barked, hitting him again.

“Gross, gross, gross!” He whined. “I never had romantic feelings for you! I mistook platonic love for- ow! A crush! You’re like family to me!”

“Great!” She hit him again before dropping the pillow. “I love you, too, jerk.”

“Well, hey, I never said that.” He defended, finally bothering to ice his shoulder with a hiss. “Oh, shit, forgot how cold that was.”

“Its ice. How could you forget?” Al complained having already placed the ice over his ribs.

“Prosthetic. No temperature recognition.” He rolled his eyes, pulling the ice off and bending his arm forward as if that proved it more somehow. He left his sleeve off at their house most of the time, it wasn’t as if it was easy to forget he had lost it.

“You should really hold it with your other hand, it will get cramped bending it like that.” She tsked, rolling her eyes when he just went back to how he was before.

“No thanks, I like having at least one arm fully functioning and free.”

“. . . How did we get here?” Alphonse asked, squinting at nothing as he quietly adjusted his own ice pack to his lower back.

“Uh, our parents had-”

“Not what I meant, please never finish that sentence.” He groaned and slumped forwards in resignation. He did not want to ever think about that.

“Well, I mean, it wasn’t God.” He blinked, turning to Winry briefly. “Sorry, Win. You know I fully believe you’re going to whatever afterlife you choose. Correction, there just isn’t God for me. I have no control over the other beliefs in this room.”

“Do you think you could will a god into existence just by believing in it?” Alphonse questioned.

“Probably? I mean, that’s assuming gods are man-made, though. Like, maybe there was an O.G god, but then religions diversified and they had to deal as a bunch of noobs ascended up to their level.”

“Sometimes I seriously question what you think a god is.” Winry snorted, leaning her head on her hand.

“Probably some dick up in the ethereal plane who’s not really better than humans and thought it’d be hilarious to screw with us. Which, to be fair, it is.” Ed answered, leaning back. “Wow, okay. I hate ice.”

“Isn’t it supposed to be ten minutes on, ten minutes off?” She frowned, tilting her head. She had a decent medical knowledge from her interest in prosthetics, but she couldn’t really afford the time or books to learn much.

“I thought it was fifteen?” Ed answered, staring at his shoulder with a searching look.

“I remember it as five, though?” Al finished the trinity of wrong answers as he shifted his ice pack again, this time to his chest.

“We are so useless.” He complained and handed his ice to Al who gratefully accepted it. He probably had it on for too long, anyways.

“I’m a lesbian, I’m supposed to be useless.”

“I’m not sure that’s how it works?” Al giggled nervously. “I think that’s just like the explanation for why you won’t ask anyone out.”

“Look. I think I know more about being a lesbian than you do.” She flicked her hand in a dismissive motion at him earning only another helpless giggle.

“Honestly, I think I’m the most experienced? Like there was that time when I was still figuring out my identity. Remember, I was really butch and thought I was just a bi girl still?” Ed interjected. “I asked out an entire girl. That’s more than you’ve done.”

“That girl was me, idiot. Oh, geez, remember when Al thought he was gay?”

“Not as bad as you thinking you were straight, Winry.” He bit out.

“I can’t believe you honestly thought you were a straightie.” Ed snickered, playfully punching her shoulder.

“Ugh, me, too. Just.” She took a deep breath and held her hands in a prayer gesture before chopping them downwards. “Girls.”

“Can’t relate, but agreed.”

“Can relate, ultra agreed.” Al smiled dreamily before snapping out of it. “Oh, we’re idiots.”

“Already knew that.”

“Got any more surprising revelations?” Ed raised an eyebrow, rolling his hand in a ‘go on’ movement.

“We were talking about inviting Lan Fan, Paninya, Mei, and Ling to the sleepover.”

“Fuck.”

“Yep. We are idiots.” Winry promptly smacked her own forehead in disbelief.

“What, did you seriously forget you were also crushing on Lan Fan at the moment and were using me to get the entire group?”

“Like you said, you’ve had more success asking people out than the rest of us.” She challenged.

“You said yes out of pity. Don’t even pretend otherwise.”

“Eh, honestly? Not my worst introduction to lesbianism. Or, well, not. Since you’re a boy, but like. The idea’s still there.”

“Valid.” Ed nodded solemnly.

“Please, brother?” Al pleaded, giving his best puppy dog eyes. “I would really like to hang out with Mei, but I’m so nervous.”

“Shit. Fuck you. I hate you. I would sell you to Satan for one corn chip.” He stopped. “Anything for you, Al.”

“Yes! Thank you!” He cheered along with Winry bobbing her head in agreement.

“I’m not asking him out, though. I’m. . . aggressively inviting them as a group with the direct implication they had better all come.”

“I think that’s the closest we’ll ever get to romance from you.” Winry teased.

“Oh, you think I can’t be sappy? You think I can’t be romantic, huh?”

“Uh oh.” Alphonse looked at the ceiling in desperation.

“Yeah, I don’t think you could ever be a soft boy.” Winry challenged, egging him on.

“Well, buddy, pal, amigo, friend, compadre. I have news for you.” He took a deep breath at the same time Al whimpered. “Ling’s hair looks so silky and every time he sits in front of me I have to fight myself not to reach out for it. Sometimes I drop my pencil in chemistry just so I can look back at him and in hopes I’ll catch him looking at me one day, but he’s always frustratingly focused. He distracts me from science class which is nearly impossible to do, y’know? Like, ADHD is a full mood in any other class, but he’s the only one who can get me out of hyper focusing on atomic structures-”

“Please, shut up.” Winry whispered, paled. “I never want to see you be cute again.”

“Bitch.”

“No, brother, that was adorable.” Al beamed at him, dropping his ice in his lap to grab his shoulders and hug him.

“Agreed, but that’s so far from my perception of you I think I’ve been scarred. Why did you do that?”

“Because no one will believe you.” He smugly quoted, glancing at her out of the corner of his eye as he hugged Al back.

“You’re evil. Ling would believe anything as long as he could make fun of you with it.” She growled, threateningly picking up her phone.

“Put down that phone or I’ll make sure you can never use one again.”

“Then ask out Ling at lunch tomorrow.” She met his eyes with the same fire he had in his.

“Invite,” he corrected. “Invite him, your crushes, and Al’s crush. Not a date thing.”

“Deal.”

“Deal.” He broke eye contact, satisfied that he was no longer in that uncomfortable situation. People’s eyes were far too intense and he firmly believed that the eyes being a gateway to the soul was true. Even if strangers’ expressions were vague and hard to read, eyes were open books of sharp interest and threats in equal measures. He couldn’t stand the attention that came with them. It was painful.

“Well, wanna have a pre-sleepover tonight?” Alphonse chirped, finally releasing Ed from his hug.

“Did you just invite yourself to stay the night?” Winry huffed. “You’re worse than your brother.”

“Wrong. He is so much better than me. He is the purest being on this Earth. He has so much love to give he couldn’t even be restricted to feminine or masculine people and no man, woman, or nonbinary person is deserving of him. He’s insanely intelligent and I struggle to keep up with him on a daily basis. He is the kindest person I know. So, in conclusion, you’re wrong.”

“You know, I really don’t see how I was surprised at your tirade on Ling when I knew you got like this over Al.”

“That’s because Ling’s a horrible person and I don’t know why I’m interested in him. Al, however, is a literal angel. I don’t know how we’re related. ” He explained, throwing an arm around his brother.

“Ed, please! You’re embarrassing.” Al pouted, though his words were light. “Not to me, just in general.”

“I am asking out your crush for you, dipshit, be nice.”

“And now the conversation has come full circle. All right, bedtime, everyone. Al, make sure you don’t use my toothbrush again.” Winry glared, clapping her hands together as she stood to get ready.

“That was one time! We were seven!” He groaned even though he was used to it. He received the same warning every time and he had no doubt it would continue even if all their crushes were in the same room as them.

“Twice. Neither of you noticed the second time when we were ten.”

“What?!”

“Brother, you never said anything!”

“Yeah, I thought it’d have more comedic value the longer I waited. I was right.” He grinned, shamelessly knocking over Al’s crutches. “It also means I can go to the bathroom first.” Without another word, he dashed to the bathroom and slammed the door behind him as if either of them could have caught him.

“Ass.” Winry smirked, propping his crutches back up so he could grab them when he was ready. “I trust you won’t turn around while I change?”

“I asked you out and you rejected me- I know my place.” He agreed somberly and shut his eyes for good measure. Winry merely smiled and set about gathering her pajamas when she realized Ed didn’t take his clothes with him.

“Edward Elric! You left your stupid sweatpants and sweatshirt with my clothes!”

“I’m taking off my binder, geez!” He yelled followed by multiple grunts. “Hng, okay, so there isn’t God, but the devil made these things!”

“You didn’t plan this at all, did you?” She sighed, grabbing his clothes for him and knocking at the door. She was pleased to find Alphonse carefully traversing the stairs to put away the ice packs before they melted all over the couch. “Just hide behind the door, I have your pj’s.”

“Did you just call them pj’s?” He responded, obediently opening the door. Winry set down his things and he slid them in with his foot. “Who even is PJ? The guy from Good Luck Charlie?”

“Wasn’t his real name like Potty John?”

“Fitting.” Ed scoffed with finality before shutting the door firmly. Winry scoffed back, more so out of affection than distaste, though. She didn’t bother to lock her door before quickly changing into a tank top and shorts. Usually, they all changed earlier in the day with the knowledge they’d be lazing around. That Thursday had been rather adventurous what with their actually going out. Edward even managed to smile politely at someone, although it was a cat. Usually, Alphonse and Winry were just glad for the sunshine. It had been raining a bit too often for their tastes no matter how much Ed enjoyed the smell or sound.

“Hey, thanks for the save.” Ed waved as he entered without bothering to knock. She resisted the urge to roll her eyes (again) and tossed him the pillow she hit him with earlier. He caught it, though it wouldn’t be the first time he didn’t, and dragged a chair over to the closet. He opened the doors to throw the pillow inside first before climbing on top of the chair to drag the blanket down from the top of the closet. He had multiple compliments for this closet- it had two doors and was long enough to leave him with a little leg room. It was even wide enough that he didn’t have to worry about banging into the doors if he had a nightmare. The doors easily slid shut so he could potentially take off his sweatshirt inside since he hated sleeping overly warm, but preferred to have a blanket while preserving his privacy.

He hated the shelf.

It was way too high up. Reaching it when he was younger actually involved a chair, five textbooks, and several ‘you’re going to die’ comments from Winry which he always matched with the assurance his pride meant more to him. He never fell, but it was the thought that counted. The blanket was heavy, too, and dragging it down was more the art of letting it fall without disturbing the clothes hanging there than actually managing to hold it all at once.

“You know, I could get that for you.” Alphonse remarked spitefully as he walked in.

“Are you trying to practice looking cool for Mei?” He shot back.

“At least you don’t need practice to look like an idiot in front of Ling.”

“Bold of you to assume I will not just leave my blanket in here since I know we’re staying again tomorrow.” Edward finally stepped down and picked Al’s clothes up from off the floor. He could manage his pants fine on his own, but started having troubles when he had to lift his arms above his head. “Arms out.” He requested, setting his clothes down on the couch while Alphonse stared at him blankly before sitting down first.

“What if they want to come over Saturday or Sunday instead?” He argued, Winry respectfully stepping out of the room to lock the house’s doors and leave a note for her grandma that the Elric brothers stayed the night. Meanwhile, Al had obediently lifted his arms in front of him and Ed grabbed the bottom of his shirt to peel over his head and roll down his arms.

“Then we kill them. Simple.” He answered, flipping Al’s shirt so it wasn’t inside out for later. Ed could fit into Winry’s clothes seeing as she was taller than him, but Alphonse would have to deal with wearing the same outfit two days in a row.

“I would prefer not to. Maybe lightly stab them instead?” He joked, letting his brother pull his pajama shirt over his head. The collar dragged down his nose and he barely resisted letting out an annoyed sound at the action. He was used to it enough to know to close his eyes, but it was nearly impossible to stop the collar from pressing around his face.

“Okay, but then there’s live victims who could report us. Best to kill them, destroy the bodies with acid, and remove all evidence of their murder. Do you need help with your pants today?” He continued, standing up to stretch his arms out above him. Alphonse smiled fondly at the question- Ed never made him feel like a burden and only gave him the help he asked for. If he ever said no, that he could walk himself or dress himself, then he backed off. Likewise, he always made sure to make his assistance seem casual even if for them that meant planning murder. He was sure to assess his pain levels for the day and check on him throughout so even if he didn’t need help with his pants in the morning he would still ask again at night. He wouldn’t say it, but he really appreciated Ed.

“Not today. My pain’s been starting to ease up so we’re probably due for a flare up in another week or so.” He shooed Edward into the closet as so many straight teachers and students had tried and bit back a chuckle when he dramatically flopped inside and shut the door.

“It hasn’t been too bad the last couple of months. You might want to take a few days off school, maybe grab your assignments in advance. You could be due for a bad one.”

“I know, right?” He puffed, wriggling his pants off. He mostly wore shorts if it was just them, unafraid of the scars when he knew he and Ed matched. They were easier to get on and off, but the jeans he wore earlier to go outside were bunching around his ankles and he was starting to worry he couldn’t get them off. “I wish it was just constant, moderate pain rather than constant mild pain and surprise jumps. Like, oh, you wanted to wake up today? Too bad! Here’s some debilitating pain and fatigue which will keep you in bed all day and you won’t even realize how bad it is until you have to go to the bathroom.”

“Remember those four weeks where you went through that flare up over winter break?”

“Don’t remind me. One week before, but I overexerted myself and fell in front of everyone. Made it through since in this capitalistic society our worth is decided by our productivity and attendance even while sick and if it’s harmful to our health. Two weeks of break where I couldn’t even go outside since I was so tired and hurt.”

“Don’t forget, all that pent up energy from not moving had you hurting yourself more.” Ed mentioned while Alphonse silently cheered once his pant legs were finally off. He immediately pulled up his loose, soft shorts.

“I’m decent now!” He chirped. “Yeah, that was the worst! The week after trying to go to school again really sucked, too! I ended up taking three days off.”

“Should have gotten more. Bullshit schools with their twenty day systems.” He huffed, coming out of the closet to remove his prosthetics. His arm was made to disconnect easily since it usually ended up aching if he had it on too long. His leg was a different story. The original plan was to get permanent prosthesis and it showed with the designs for his leg. The nerve connection was painful to interrupt and got worse to repair the longer he had it off. His arm was painful, but in a sharp sudden way that only lasted a few seconds before leaving him with nothing but a subtle ache. The removal of his leg was unfortunately necessary, too. If he kept it on too long it would start to pinch, develop dry skin, and make him limp. So, he rolled down the nude colored sock made to cover the metal of his leg, sat down on the floor, and got to work.

“You as well, brother, your chronic pain is-”

“Motherfucking piss weasel lady Antoinette shitting all over capitalistic society making money off our pain just Jesus fucking Christ!” He hissed through gritted teeth. He had to remove his leg first, it was hard to do with one arm. Didn’t make the process any easier. Generally, he passed out during, but he could keep himself awake if he was expecting it. The rod stuck out from the stump and he actually stared at it for a moment. It was really. . . Metal.

“That. Your phantom pains in particular are bad, but the aches you get from your prosthesis aren’t. . . ideal.” He winced, rubbing the back of his neck as he watched Edward carefully set down his leg despite the pain that was overwhelming him. His expression was tight and determined even as he bit down on his lip. He bit hard enough he should have drawn blood, but he was convinced so many years of chewing his lip made him immune.

“Yep. Definitely not. Obviously not. Thank you, Captain Obvious. I wish I was rich enough to just. Synthesize a whole new limb.” He paused, staring at the door. His thoughts still lingered on whether or not the titanium implant was worth the pain it caused, but he had to admit the range of motion in his leg was better than before. “Winry, I saw your hair. You can come in, you know. We’re both clothed and I don’t mind you seeing this.”

“Sorry, I was up earlier, I just didn’t want to interrupt.” She admitted guiltily even as she stepped in to sit next to Alphonse.

“Shut up, once again, family. Wonderful sister that you are I fully expect you to make me some sort of magic bullshit leg that doesn’t hurt so much.” He disconnected his arm as he said it, the nerves not quite releasing but rather being tricked into believing the limb was still there so that the transition was comparatively painless.

“Will do. I’ll just find a fairy or something to grow you a new one. It might be cursed so I wouldn’t trust it.”

“I think we’re already cursed.” Alphonse huffed a laugh. “Remember when you were six or so and told me opening an umbrella in the house wouldn’t bring bad luck?”

“You’re one hundred percent right. The umbrella gods have cursed us. I don’t know how I didn’t see it before.”

“Somehow, our conversation once again inexplicably leads to gods. Coincidence? I think not.” Winry jokingly slapped a hand down on the table in false outrage before she stood to first move his prosthetics within reaching distance for Edward while he slept in the closet and then dutifully let him wrap his remaining arm around her shoulders to hop to bed.

“Well, goodnight Winry!” Al chirped, sitting down on the bed before laying his crutches beside him. There wasn’t a good place to lean them where he could still grab them if he needed to get up in the middle of the night so he kept them in bed with him.

“Goodnight, Ed.” Winry responded, used to the circle of goodnights they did by now. She fell onto the couch tiredly while Ed still squirmed around in his makeshift bed before pulling the doors shut.

“Goodnight, Al! Goodnight, Win.”

“Goodnight, Al.” Winry repeated.

“Goodnight, Ed.” Alphonse finished. They all fell asleep one after the other with only the occasional wake up for nightmares or pain.

That was until Winry woke up at four in the morning with the realization that they had three sleeping spots and the potential of seven people being there tomorrow.


	2. I Lobe You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> GRISDTRJBHOITEAJH I WROTE 'HUMAN GAME OF CONNECT THE DOTS' IN REFERENCE TO LIKE. DRAWING LINES THROUGH SOMEONE'S FRECKLES AND INSTEAD OF GOING 'OH YEAH BECAUSE YOU'D BE DOING THAT ON A PERSON' I JUST IMMEDIATELY WENT 'WHEN DID I MAKE THIS AN ALIEN AU?'
> 
> also no the chapter title is not a typo we just stan platonic sib relationships in this house that said anyone who ships incest leave now. dni. byf. w/e.  
> edit: lmao can't believe i have to add this but if u ship or condone pedophilia ESP. r*y*d get out. like rn. leave. idc.

“Me and Al can share?” Ed offered sleepily the next morning, lazily chewing on one of his sweater’s strings at the kitchen counter. Winry was laying on the floor seemingly defeated before rolling over to stare blankly at the ceiling.

“I did not agree to that.” He disagreed, glaring at his brother. He twisted in the chair to face him and lightly smacked his cheek making him squawk and drop his string. “You’re a nightmare to sleep next to. All you do is struggle and kick off the blankets.”

“Rude, you’d let someone else with their poor naive expectations deal with that?”

“Like anyone would want to sleep in the closet besides you.” She groaned, finally standing and cracking her spine. “Maybe it can be one of those sleepovers where no one actually sleeps?”

“It’s in the name! We have to sleep, that’s the point.”

“Good point, brother, but you don’t have to cover for me. I can’t pull all nighters. Sorry, Win.” Alphonse sighed. It wasn’t that he hadn’t tried. Edward made valiant efforts of keeping him up with movies and games, but once the clock hit midnight he was out like a light.

“I mean, there’s always the floor. I’m sure we have extra blankets or could find them somewhere.”

“Uh, I could bring mine over from the apartment? Al’s, too.”

“Once again, did not agree to that.”

“Fuck you, Al, wouldn’t you prefer to have your own blanket for the night?”

“Not everyone has the same possessive obsession over comfort objects as you.” Ed blinked twice before disconnecting his arm. “Oh, heck.”

“It’s the autism, yee-”

“Edward Elric, if you dare throw that arm I will beat you over the head with it.” Winry bit out, grabbing it from him and setting it down on the counter instead.

“Why do I always get full named? I rarely hear ‘Alphonse Elric’ but Edward Elric has been said twice in as many days!” He gestured wildly, clearly stimming when his hand fell in front of his chest to flap happily. “Not that I mind, my name’s pretty good. Picked it myself.”

“Uh huh, I’ll stop using your full name when you stop going at 300 mph.”

“Mistakes per hour.” Alphonse nodded even as Ed tried to shove him with his remaining arm. He kept upright and pushed him back with a wicked grin as he fell with a shout. “Long live the king.”

“Ugh, I was about to call you Scar, but then I remembered Mei’s dad.” He gasped suddenly, sitting up right with only moderate difficulty considering he had yet to put back his arm. “Scar is so gonna kill you when you start dating Mei!”

“He wouldn’t! He would be happy for his daughter!” He defended.

“Nuh uh. Didn’t he nearly fail Ed just because Mei had a crush on him?” Winry joined, effectively ganging up on him.

“No! He-” Edward cackled, falling back on the floor. “He gave me a F on a test and told me to come see him after school! I had two different anxiety attacks on my way over and you know what he did?”

“Looked you dead in the eye as he changed the letter to an A because you actually got 100% and said, ‘oops. I must have mixed up your test with someone else’s.’” Alphonse laid his head down on the counter. “I feel like I should give up now.”

“No way. I’m asking the whole group out for us, that means Mei has to be included. Even if she and Ling are,” he shook his hand in a ‘so-so’ motion before letting it flop back to his side. “This sleepover’s gonna be a mess. That means you, Winry, have to figure out sleeping arrangements and Al? Get over yourself. I’m asking them all today.”

“Better get ready then, it’s 7:00 already.”

“What!” Ed yelped, scrambling to get up and connect his arm before rushing upstairs to change.

“Don’t you feel bad about tricking him?”

“Being rushed means he’ll forget he can steal my clothes. Hopefully.” She shrugged, grabbing a granola bar before leaving to change as well. “Scream if you need help. Or die, whichever comes first.”

Al did end up screaming, mostly out of surprise when Ed slid down the banister like an old school teenage delinquent. He was, in fact, wearing Winry’s clothes. The tank top had a high enough collar to cover his binder and still show off his arms, but the skinny jeans that he had only seen her wear once really completed the look. He still had his own combat boots and jacket slung over his arm, though.

“Brother, are your feet too small for Winry’s shoes?” Ed shrugged, pulling on his jacket with a disinterested expression.

“He’s a size five and a half!” She shouted down the stairs with an evil laugh.

“Not cool. Here I was ready to carry your bag for you-”

“You know Ling’s not here, yet. You don’t have to show off.”

“I am full of anxious energy, please let me do something.” He groaned, pressing his palms into his eyes and frowning further when he pulled away with little dots still dancing across his vision.

“Sorry, brother. You’ll have to entertain yourself like a normal person.”

“With knives?”

“Please keep him out of the knife drawer,” Winry sighed, descending the stairs far more gracefully than Ed had. She glared at him and crossed her arms with a pout. “Thanks for stealing my shirt, you dick. Look natural?”

“Uh, looks like it? Want me to contour your chest for you?” Ed squinted, tilting his head to stare blatantly at her exposed neck.

“Wow, if you weren’t so gay I’d think you were coming on to me.” She snorted, stretching her arms above her head. “Mm, nah. I’m good with the inserts for now!”

“I am vibrating with anticipation. I need to do something.” Ed groaned. He sat down heavily at the same time Al stood to go upstairs and change.

“You could do my nails?” She offered pulling out her entire nail polish collection that consisted of exactly six colors. Two for each of them. Red and gold for Ed since he was an edgy asshole, blue and white for Winry. Alphonse near never wore his silver color, but sometimes Ed made use of them. He generally steered away from the pastel pink he wore, though.

“Cool, cool, cool. So, alternating? We don’t have enough time for a pattern.” He made grabby hands at her until she set both her hands down on the counter in front of him along with all the nail polish.

“Actually, can you paint them all blue except for my middle finger in white?” She chuckled, nudging the bottle with her finger. “I think Paninya would appreciate it.”

“That’s great, holy shit. I’m totally using that.”

“No fair, it was my idea!”

“If you’re making me paint your nails- which we all know you’re horrible at, don’t know how considering you work with fine wiring all the time-”

“It’s different!”

“Sure it is. So, anyways, I’m using it. In conclusion, fuck you.” He shook the bottle and uncapped it with his teeth since he lived for the drama. He tried to ignore the first time he just uselessly bit the top.

“You really have to be like that, huh.” She sighed even as he started carefully brushing over her nails with his prosthetic hand. He liked to think it shook less than his flesh one, but really he was just more focused by the idea. It was practically a placebo effect.

“You raised me this way.” He shot back, sticking his tongue out when he skipped the middle nail and continuing fluently on. “I wish we had time to add stickers or something.”

“We could! Except, I don’t have any. Whoops.”

“All right, give me a second.” Ed switched to paint her middle nails white and squinted at the completion. “Uh, I think just one coat looks okay?”

“Mhm, thanks, Ed!”

“Yeah! Okay, okay. So. What if I do gold for my middle fingers and silver for my pinkies? Rest in red, course.”

“Sounds stupid, just like you. Do it.” She smirked, blowing on her nails. Ed was much less careful with his nails. He quickly striped on the silver for his pinkies and then gold with the polish slipping over his cuticles and outside the nail. It mattered less for his prosthetic hand since he generally just stuck fake nails onto it anyways. It was just a matter of painting them before sticking them on since he could easily wash the excess off the arm’s sleeve. He brushed on the red over the rest of his nails when he heard a thud from upstairs. “Al?!” He yelled, dropping the bottle and wincing as it spilled.

“I’m good! I fell, but I’m good!” He shouted back immediately. Ed collapsed back in his seat with a hand over his face and a groan. It wouldn’t do to have Al injured while they were painting their nails of all things. Some irrational part of his mind said that they couldn’t help him if their nails were wet, though he knew he’d gladly ruin his nails to assist him.

“So, are you going to clean that off or?”

“Yeah, just let me stick my already wet nails in the sink without letting them dry first.” He blinked, glaring at her. “I saw the time while I was upstairs- I’m not rushing any more, you pissant.”

“It’s not my fault you’re so gullible.” She shrugged. Ed bared his teeth at her before sitting back clearly resigned. Winry blinked, but shrugged and went to sit on the couch and wait for Alphonse.

“Shit.” He whispered, nearly going to push his fingers through his hair before realizing he had already scuffed them. He definitely held back this time despite his disappointment. Still. He hated how Winry used his literal nature against him.

“Brother?” He paused, staring at Ed from the doorway. “What happened?”

“I saw the time upstairs.” He sighed, dropping his head on the counter.

“You know, Winry’s our friend. If you let her know how it makes you feel, then she’ll listen.” He consoled, moving to sit next to him.

“I know.”

“It’s okay. We don’t have to figure anything out right now. I’m sorry for any part I had to play in that- I should have told you, but I didn’t.”

“Hey, are you two ready to go?” Winry asked, ducking around the doorway. She absently tucked a piece of hair behind her ear. Alphonse and Edward wordlessly stood with a nod and walked out with her. Al was on edge until Ed wordlessly placed a hand on his arm before beginning the walk to school.

School always sucked, but any day Ed didn’t get in (read: start) a fist fight with someone was a good day. Technically only half a day since Edward was currently waiting, ready to forget eating entirely. Most people mistook his anxiety for excitement or impatience, but he really wanted to get this over with.

“What if they say no?” Was the only thing he managed aloud, Alphonse blinking in surprise at his admission.

“Nothing lost, nothing gained, then. It’s not like they’ll suddenly stop being our friends for inviting them to our house. Winry’s house,” he corrected. Between the three of them, Alphonse was likely the most calm. He could manage to convince himself into optimism, or at least that they’d survive if something happened.

“Really? What if they think its weird or childish? What if they’re not interested in being close friends with us and they-”

“You are worse than Winry.” Alphonse sighed, covering his mouth. It was no surprise when Ed licked his hand, but Al just barely resisted falling from his crutches.

“We already knew that.” He answered, remembering to step forward in line.

“You know all those bad thoughts you have? Imagine them as a very edgy thirteen year old boy.”

“It’s still me, but two years younger.”

“Great. Kick them in the face.”

“I am not that flexible.” He paused, narrowing his eyes at the floor. “Actually, I might be. Like, I could sit down and turn my leg inwards to kick myself in the face?”

“Can you still do the splits? With your leg, I mean.” Alphonse waved at his prosthetic calf. “You used to do parkour?”

“Dunno. How do you think the table will react if I just. Try it randomly-”

“Rainbow pineapples, X-D, I am so random. Signed x capital X lowercase x underscore furry elise underscore x, X, x.”

“I hate you so much.”

“Valid. I say you do it, though. I don’t think anyone would even question it.” They finally made it into the actual cafeteria and picked up their trays. Ed moved quickly with his newfound freedom and studiously avoided the milk cartons. All the school served was slop and he ended up grabbing a cup of mushy blueberries along with a surprisingly decent seeming apple. He didn’t dare pick up the Domino’s pizza slices- the school somehow got to them. There was no hope.

There was only grease.

“Is that all you’re getting?” Al waved at his worryingly empty tray.

“Not hungry. Also, you know I just. Chomp at home.” He mimicked biting the air because that’s just who he was as a person.

“Do we still have cookies? The crunchy chocolate chip ones.” They moved through the line like complacent cattle- the school system at its finest. In one day it reduced normal children to zombies.

“Yes and they’re mine. You can have two.”

“Gee, thanks.” He responded drily, already speed walking to take his place at the table. Ling glanced up at his arrival and immediately smiled at Ed as he approached behind him. Alphonse would generally let Ed sit first, but he honestly had to see this.

“Here, Lan Fan would you mind scooching down?” Ling nudged her lightly, still looking at Ed with an easy smile.

“No need.” He snickered, setting his tray down and sliding into the splits in perfect view of Ling. He didn’t quite make it the last inch, but it was rather impressive considering his choice in pants. Al watched in amazement as Ling actually flinched back with his eyes more open than he’d ever seen them. There was a slight glaze over his eyes from his ‘undisclosed eye condition’, though at this point he suspected Ling himself didn’t know. 

“Ed, you show off.” Winry complained, obviously just wanting to eat her food.

“I’m just here to ruin everyone’s fun.”

“Please, don’t.” Ling interrupted. “Just sit next to me like a regular person.”

“Rude. When have I. . . You know I was going to go through the whole ‘not been normal’ ‘don’t answer that’ but honestly. We all know. We were all there.”

“Are you nervous, Ed?” Ling inquired fondly, closing his eyes as they all slid down to make room for Edward next to him.

“Geez, yes.”

“How could you tell?” Paninya chuckled, leaning on Winry casually to steal her salad.

“Normal Ed just shouts. He only rambles when he’s nervous.” Ling exposed him all too easily, laughing when he was roughly shoved into Lan Fan’s side.

“Don’t call him out like this, he’s sensitive, trademarked.” Paninya nodded seriously even while Ed groaned and dragged a hand down his face.

“No, but seriously now!” He chided even as he leaned over to take Ed’s mushy berries. “What do you want to talk about?”

“Winry and Alphonse-” Two swift kicks hit his shins. Unfortunately for Winry that was his prosthetic and as for Al. . . Well, he wasn’t having a good go of it in the first place. Their identical winces gave them away as he sighed loudly. “We,” he stressed. “Were wondering if y’all wanted to join one of the famous Rockbell sleepovers.”

“Did you just say ya’ll?” Lan Fan snorted, twirling her hair with her prosthetic hand.

“The apostrophe is between the y and the a, it's you all not ya will.” He defended immediately. “Why would you even think to pronounce it like that?”

“That sounds like fun!” Mei chirped up, sitting down just in time. She and Ling shared an antagonistic glance, but it broke quickly as she pressed into Al’s side. Alphonse was absolutely certain he was blushing. Or he was going to die. One of the two.

“That could be us, but you’re-” Ling was cut off by Ed’s single raised eyebrow and he laughed nervously instead of daring to finish that sentence.

“I’ll be coming as well.” Lan Fan answered warmly, giving Winry doe eyes across the table.

“Count me in.” Paninya chirped, face falling as she looked between them.

“We’re looking forward to it.” Winry finished softly, turning to look at Paninya who quickly saved face with a confident smirk.

The rest of the table moved to silence their phone in preparation for the sheer amount of pining texts they were sure to receive.

“You’re seeing this, right?” Ed stage whispered, blinking slowly as even Al and Mei met eyes and bashfully looked away from each other.

“I had no idea Mei could do anything other than glare.” Ling agreed, unintentionally leaning even closer to Ed as they all fell into their separate conversations.

“Mm. Bet you Al still thinks she’s just sweet.”

“Mei’s a little romantic. She doesn’t even realize that to be Al’s girlfriend she actually has to ask him out.” He muttered conspiratorially back, turning at the sound of Ed’s low chuckle. They were so close, but Ed’s eyes were half lidded and dancing with mischief. 

His freckles had every dark brown dot lining up, but not in constellations. Patterns, possibly, if he drew lines like a human game of connect the dots. Maybe he would if he ever got the chance and a marker. He’d probably have his hair ripped out by the vengeful gremlin. Maybe he wasn’t dotted by stars, but oil and dirt. Ling came out of his brief distraction to realize he was looking at him with that sly, expectant smirk.

“What?” He blurted, glad that his eyes were still mostly shut. People generally didn’t bother to check if he was gazing out from what may have been the line of his lashes or his eye. He was waxing poetic and they hadn’t even suggested anything romantic between them yet.

“Set them up. Winry and Lan Fan are both useless lesbians, but I’m not worried. Paninya will pull through. Mei and Al on the other hand. . .”

“What are you suggesting, we lock them in an elevator?” Ling asked rhetorically before watching with the dawning horror that Ed was far too willing to follow through.

“I mean, it's good for his legs to rest. Surely Mei could be invited on? She’s about to be late to her class, after all, and the halls are so crowded!” He cooed, a devious grin overtaking his face.

“They might kill you for this plot.” He inclined his head, honestly ready to go through with it. It wasn’t as though he could make Mei hate him more.

“Wouldn’t be the first time they’ve tried. And they still consider me their friend!” He bragged, looking smug. “I have tricked them into friendship and brotherhood and now they can never escape.”

“I don’t think it’s possible you tricked Al into being your brother. You are sort of related by blood.”

“Fine, I tricked him into caring about me, then.” He decided, waving a hand around as if batting away the technicalities.

“I don’t think you can trick someone into loving you, Ed.” He responded fondly. Winry caught his eye from across the table and mouthed ‘he’s oblivious’ before facepalming. He reluctantly agreed- Ed was smart, but dense. Clever. Beautiful. Kind, even if he didn’t act like it.

“I absolutely did. The organ donation I did for Al was worth roughly twelve of me.”

“. . . Can you, perhaps, elaborate?” Ling managed, barely holding off a squeak. Everyone knew something happened to the Elric brothers - the car crash was in the news for days and while Ed was a mystery, it was no secret that Al was chronically ill. Anything more was a toss up- some say their mother was driving and attempted suicide taking her two children with her. Other gossips said it was actually their father driving and he left behind no evidence besides the unplanned survival of Ed and Al.

“Nope.” He paused, tapping his fingers on the table and glancing at his brother. “Well, uh, I can tell you I donated a lobe of a lung and like, some blood.”

“Ed, that’s.” He stopped himself from saying ‘horrible’ or ‘that sucks’ or even apologizing. He wouldn’t care for pity or anything of the sort. It wouldn’t be fair to put him in that awkward of a situation after he just opened up. “That sucks, but like, can you still feel your lung even though its in Al?”

That startled a laugh out of him, his face lighting up as though he hadn’t just revealed an extraordinarily traumatic piece of his life. “Definitely. I’m focusing on trying to get it to move so we can have a telepathic signal, but most lungs don’t move outside of breathing.”

“Weak. Did you know intestines just. Worm around? Like during surgery they’ll take them out and to put them back they just sort of. Set them back in the body and let them figure it out.”

“That is horrifying, thank you so much. They seek their original body- they cannot be whole without it.”

“I did not want to overhear that.” Paninya groaned, slamming her milk carton down as though it had offended her.

“I didn’t want to hear you were eavesdropping, but go off I guess.” Ed shrugged. Ling swore he caught him glaring at the milk, though.

“Well damn, sue me for having ears!” She leaned forwards, hands flat on the table. She said ‘sue’ the same way someone may have said ‘fight’ and it showed in her posture. Winry did not want to get in the middle of that- they were constantly scrapping it out for fun and it almost always ended with twin enthusiastic grins while everyone else was horrified by the sure to form bruises.

“I’m broke, hoe, fight me in a Denny’s parking lot at three a.m.”

“The degradation of language through excessive meme usage is so sad, Alexa play Despacito.” Alphonse flinched when Mei’s phone went off and they both stared at each other in shock. It was quiet, but that was definitely Luis Fonsi and Daddy Yankee playing.

“I don’t have an Alexa.” She whispered. “That is not my phone.”

“You took someone else’s phone?” He blinked, tilting his head.

“It’s probably dad’s?” She admitted helplessly, pulling it out to see three missed calls. Of course, it was on silent. “I better go find him- he’s been calling from my phone, but he shouldn’t miss any work calls! I’m going to text him to meet me- want to come with, Al?”

“Uh, shore, I mean. Sure. Sure! That sounds. Pleasant.” He stuttered nervously, brushing off his pants as he stood. “Watch our trays for us?”

“There won’t be any food for you to come back to.” Lan Fan stared pointedly at Ling who merely grinned.

“Touch either of our food and I will shank you with that plastic knife.” Mei threatened, already leaving with Al in tow.

“Mei! That’s my brother’s- friend. You really can’t get along with him?” The conversation faded as they walked away, but Ling was already grabbing some of the fries Mei brought. To his credit, he only took a small amount so it’d look normal.

“What does he even mean, the ‘degradation of language’? Like I can look at pictures of eyes and it’s like hieroglyphs.” Paninya huffed, leaning back.

“He could be referring to how language used to be more formal and respectful, even though most of it was actually slang that just sounded pretty.” Lan Fan suggested. Winry nodded, paying more attention to her than she ever did to their teacher.

“Wasn’t Shakespeare’s ‘Much Ado About Nothing’ basically ‘Freaking Out Over Pussy’?” There was a moment of silence before everyone burst out laughing, Paninya included though she herself had made the joke.

“No, but it really translates like that! Nothing was a slang word for vagina, at the time!” Lan Fan added, still giggling.

“So, all I’m hearing is that Al wanted us to insult each other with Shakespearean words.” Ed interjected, practically baring his teeth at Paninya.

“Do you bite your thumb at me, sir?” She teased. Their English class was in them middle of Romeo and Juliet, featuring one particularly enthusiastic actor throwing themselves on the floor when Romeo was bawling over Juliet. She had no doubt that Ed would remember the scene, though he wasn’t in their class.

“I do bite my thumb, madame!” He chuckled before taming his expression into something stoic. His lips twitched as he fought the urge to smile, but it was worth it to see Winry’s exasperated expression.

“Do you bite your thumb at me, sir?” She repeated, scowling at him.

“Is the law of our side if I say ‘ay’?” Edward inquired of Lan Fan who was smirking at their display.

“No.” She said plainly.

“No, madame. I do not bite my thumb at you, madame, but I bite my thumb, madame.” He finished, thinking that was the end of it.

“Um,” Paninya squinted, breaking character and mouthing the last line as she fought to recall it.

“Do you quarrel, sir?” Winry started instead, her book open in front of her. She was strong enough to carry all her textbooks and a few personal reading books with her- it wasn’t a surprise she had it on hand considering her math and science books were both crammed into her small bag.

“Quarrel, madame? No, madame.” Lan Fan followed. Ed seriously questioned if they would finish the play before the class did.

“It gets boring now.” Winry pouted at the pages.

“Doesn’t Tybalt actually die here?” Ed asked, a little unclear on the progression.

“Don’t know, haven’t got that far. No spoilers!” Winry stuck her tongue out at him.

“Dost thou even hoist?” He challenged, rising from his seat for true drama.

“Thou clearly do, as thou smell of mountain goat!” Paninya jumped in, always eager to insult Ed.

“Thou art a boil, a plague sore!” He hissed back, practically growling as she stood as well. Both the staff and the students around them ignored their antics, far too used to it by now.

“You rampallian! You fustilariean!”

“Fustilarian,” Lan Fan correct, just in time for Ed to shout.

“Clod of wayward marl!” He yelled, actually disconnecting his arm by reaching up under his sleeve to throw it down on the table. “More of your conversation would infect my brain! I throw down the gauntlet!”

Several things happened at once.

First, Ed’s disembodied arm hit the table with the most obnoxious clank it could offer, all metal on metal. The hand hit Ling’s trary and flung the mushy berries he had stolen into Lan Fan’s bangs. Mei and Al had just stepped up to the table and she was staring at Ed in shock while Al looked blankly at his idiot brother.

Of course, Winry hissed a ‘careful!’ though it was certainly useless now. Paninya instantly riled.

“Lost limb buddies!” She cheered, slamming her hands on the table while Lan Fan blankly brushed the berries out of her hair with her own prosthetic.

What really made it, however, was Ling’s shriek.

“You’re missing an arm?!” He coughed, affronted that he was even surprised in the first place.

“. . . Yes? Did nobody know?” He blinked, turning to see the rest of the cafeteria bumping each other to point at him and mutter to themselves. They all looked away at his accidental ire showing in his eyes, but he wasn’t too bothered.

“You always wear gloves, Edward.” Alphonse sighed, pulling the nude sleeve off the prosthetic hand as if to confirm it. Ed took a moment to sit down and groan- he forgot to add nails that morning.

“You never told me? This is so extra, Ed!” She came to a full stop, squinting at it on the table. “It shouldn’t pop off like that, right?”

“Oh, no! It’s meant to be more. . . removable than normal since,” Ed made an abortive motion and Winry bit her tongue. No leg, then. He was going to hit someone with it, wasn’t he? He was too dramatic for his own good. “Since the arm would weigh too much on him.”

“How do you keep the nerves connected? I know he can feel it.” Lan Fan winced, rubbing at her own metallic arm.

“He did undergo the surgery to install the titanium rod, but the rest of the prosthetic is designed to hook up with it like one might plug a computer back in. It can be painful, but useful if it has become dead weight or hurts. It also assists in the process of repairs.”

“You don’t have any missing limbs, right, Al?” Mei asked innocently, looking up at him with scared eyes. “I don’t want to see you hurt.”

Al laughed nervously while Ling muttered something about her being an overly sappy, obsessed girl.

“No, uh, I’m not. My spine was damaged and there was some other stuff? Uh, shrapnel hit me a bunch. Also, I can’t breathe very well?” He cringed at that knowing he was making it sound worse. “I have near constant mild pain that flares up. No limbs, though.”

“Al!” She whined, latching onto his arm with a sad face. “That’s all right! I’m just glad you survived!” Ed flinched at that, but Al’s surprised expression calmed into something relaxed and sweet.

“I am, too. Even if it hurts. If I hadn’t, I couldn’t have met you. Um. All of you!” He corrected hurriedly, waving his hands at the table as he struggled to sit down. “You’re, uh, all really nice! I’m glad to have you as our friends.”

“Which means you should all come to the sleepover.” Winry declared proudly, daring everyone to turn down sweet, innocent Al. Mei was cute, sure, but equal parts vicious. That wasn’t to say Al wasn’t sassy- he just always had good intentions, or at least only petty ones.

“We already agreed.” Lan Fan raised an eyebrow, then blinked as she remember. “Except, some people did not.”

“What?” Ling furrowed his eyebrows as they all turned to him with little screeches of their trays. “Mei didn’t say anything solid either!”

“And you’re still not saying anything.” Ed bit out, but there was an undercurrent of tension in his voice. He knew, reasonably, that there was no way Ling would turn them down. There would be free food, friendship, and a chance to make fun of people’s pajamas. Still, he didn’t want to think of it.

“I didn’t think I needed to,” Ed’s heart stopped for a second. “I am, of course, attending. Whether you want me to or not.”

“I’m going, too! But only for Al.” Mei stuck her tongue out in furious sibling rivalry before sliding onto the bench to possessively grasp Al’s arm.

“Uh, neat!” He blurted, face becoming a ruddy hue. He always looked ashy from sickness, but the sight of blood rushing to his face had Ed rushing to snap a picture in a way only a trained older brother could. He was so sending it to Al later. Probably Riza, too. Actually, all the teachers he had in his contacts.

. . . He probably shouldn’t be on a friendly basis with teachers.

It was only due to his frequent detentions, he swore.

“Don’t worry, Mei. I promise our father wasn’t invited.” Ling quipped, leaning forwards with a relaxed look on his face even as Mei grabbed her plastic knife. True to form, Lan Fan grabbed it from her with a glare and stabbed a fry with it before eating it directly off the blade. Which, admittedly, would have been really cool if it wasn’t plastic.

“Oh,” Winry muttered softly. As it turned out, it was still insanely attractive to the two idiots dumb enough to be attracted to her with a knife that couldn’t even cut butter if given the chance.

“It’s not like I could injure him!” Mei dismissed and crossed her arms. She was bitter and irritated- there was no worse combination for the people around her.

“You most certainly could have. Go for the eyes, or the trachea.” Lan Fan suggested softly.

“Please don’t give her tips on murdering me.” Ling pleaded, covering his face.

“Anyone who wants to murder Ling Yao will have to get in line.” Ed smirked shamelessly and pulled off his jacket to reveal the stump of his arm. Most of the scarring was covered by Winry’s tank top. He didn’t wear sleeveless shirts without a jacket, something he hadn’t realized until now. That included the nude colored sleeve over his arm that Al had so helpfully yanked off. It wasn’t as much of a problem now as he reconnected it with a forced exhale through his teeth, all while remaining in eye contact with Mei. He flexed the fingers and finally picked up his sentence. “I got dibs, okay?”

“Okay, even I have to admit that was impressive.” Paninya interrupted, slamming her hands on the table. “How do you do that without fainting?”

“I’ve had worse.” He winked, suddenly playful and leaving Ling a flustered mess by his side.He had seen it all- well, vague shapes that blurred at the edges, but he could definitely make out the most important details considering Ed was right there. There he was, pushing back his bangs and tying his jacket around his waist looking like the cat that got the cream.

Unfortunately, there was no one for him to commiserate with as Lan Fan was in awe over Winry’s engineering and Paninya practically begged for her own piece. Mei was already back to her conversation with Al, which he could barely make out as a hushed discussion on a new tv show. Mei was rather enthusiastic about a new relationship between two characters he never heard of and Al had that gooey, fond look in his eyes.

He probably didn’t even watch the show and just found Mei’s interest endearing.

“Questions to ask at the sleepover.” Paninya agreed to something Winry whispered. Kicking up one of her legs onto the table, she checked her phone before frowning. “Oof. We gotta. Go. Class is in two minutes.”

“Oh. Shit.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> btw i am. looking for betas. i dont have time to thoroughly correct my writing bc i have work now?? but like writing should improve after the semesters over im dropping like. as many classes as i can. oijgaoirajhbo just hmu in the comments?? or like?? fuck it have my tumblr im @cherrisilk or @ancientdraconic annnnnnd i. am a fool. btw vote whether this should stay a completely modern au w no magic or if i should get into Magic. if no then i have another fic in my drafts somewhere for that but i promise i'll work on this one first since i have a huge outline for it.
> 
> also like if u guys have any sidlink fic or art pls give im. small and hyperfixate (edit: actually gayperion or zerhys is also valid)


	3. BIG Oof

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> are chapter summaries required. idk. sleepover start!!

Ed stared blankly at the floor in front of him. He had both his and Al’s blankets thrown over his shoulders and he managed to carry all four of their collective pillows in his arms while Al eagerly made his way up the stairs. Winry was in a similar position to him, gazing at the empty space with her hands in front of her mouth in an almost prayer like position.

“There’s no way we’re all fitting.” She hissed, moving her hands to her hips instead.

“Uh huh. Well, it really depends on how evil you want to be.”

“I’m listening.”

“Mei’s small enough to fit in bed with Al if we put his crutches under the bed so he can just wake Mei for them. Lan Fan and Paninya have no problem sleeping on the floor so they can go next to you on the couch.”

“Where’s Ling then?”

“No clue.”

The doorbell rang.

“I’ll get it!” Al yelped despite having just reached the top of the stairs.

“No way, dipshit! Get over here and make a floor bed for the girls.” Ed shouted back, already lightly pushing past him to take the stairs two at a time. That method was not made for someone of his height, however, seeing as he nearly fell twice. He tore open the door to see the person he wanted to see least.

“Elric.”

“Scar.”

“That’s Mr. Chang to you,” he corrected with an amused glint in his eye, the bastard. “Just because we’re out of class doesn’t mean you can slip now.”

“When have I ever been disrespectful?” Ed gasped, throwing a hand over his heart in mock horror.

“Remember when you accused me of a war crime?”

“Collective punishment is a violation of the Geneva Conventions! You can’t punish twenty students for the actions of one!” He contested, giving the same argument as he did in class.

“That’s great, kid. Now, where will Mei be sleeping?” As if summoned, Mei ran up behind him with her own pillow and overnight bag. She was practically vibrating with energy. He couldn’t have Scar taking her home now.

“There’s not enough beds-” He frowned and Ed hurried to continue. “The girls are sleeping on one side of the floor, and we have plenty of blankets! Al gets the bed, because...” He made choppy motions in the air, not bothering to finish his sentence. “And me and Ling are on the other side. Sorry, we couldn’t do separate rooms.”

“No, it’s better this way. Go ahead, sweetheart..”

“Of course, sir. Come on in, Mei. Winry and Al are already upstairs. There’s a bathroom, too.” He explained vaguely. She seemed to take the hint, rushing up the stairs in leaps and bounds. “Emergency number?”

“What?”

“Figured you’d want me to have it, wanted to beat you to the punch.” Ed shrugged, pulling out his phone. “What number can I reach you at in case of an emergency? Does she have any allergies?”

“Here, allow me.” Scar looked vaguely proud as he punched in his number. “No allergies, but when I adopted her she was malnourished and she still is. I’d appreciate if you made sure she takes her vitamins and gets a decent meal.”

“Gotcha, had some problems with that myself.” Ed agreed easily, taking his phone back.

“Oh? May I ask to what extent?” Scar challenged, trying to meet Ed’s eyes. “I’m just unsure if the levels of severity would constitute the same treatment. It's not as minor as I make it out to be.”

“Yeah, sure, I love sharing my personal medical history with strangers.”

“. . . Right.” He paused, hand hovering over Ed’s shoulder before settling awkwardly on his head to ruffle his hair nearly aggressively. “Don’t hesitate to call. It’s her first night away from home.”

“Sure thing, sir. I’d tell you not to feel bad, but I doubt you would in the first place.” Ed shot back, avoiding whatever heartfelt moment Scar wanted. He seemed to take the hidden reassurance for what it was and backed off with nothing more than a wave over his shoulder.

 

With that in mind, Ed went back upstairs where Al and Mei seemed perfectly content just sitting next to each other on the bed, Mei hiding her giggles behind her palm. Winry was smiling at them good naturedly while Ed instinctively scowled.

“Ed!” Winry enthused, turning and gesturing at the floor. “Look! We’ve got the beds set up!”

He raised an eyebrow at the set up as he walked in. “Cool. Five dollars says you’ll end up in a cuddle puddle with them instead of sleeping on the couch where you belong.”

“I won’t deny that, but I am curious why I belong on the couch.” Winry said, unwilling to bet against him.

“Both of you are comforting.” Ed answered with a serious nod.

“Brother, you’ve gone soft.” Al covered Mei’s ears while she smirked at him. “You can’t let them know you’re not an asshole, it’ll ruin your reputation.”

“You’re so right. I am incredibly sorry and disappointed that I ever let myself slip around you. Won’t happen again in the next three or so seconds, I promise.” Ed paused and sat down on the floor. “Three seconds are up, I actually love you guys and cover up my fear with anger. If you ever tell anyone you’re dead.”

“Remember that time I asked you to never be cute again? That applies here.” Winry faked a shudder as she turned to face Al. “You live with this? You brave soldier, you.”

“At times it can be draining. Some days I’m not sure I can continue. But it’s totally worth it when he cooks.”

“He never cooks for- . . . Did you guys hear that?” Winry asked, squinting at the air in front of her and turning to the window.

“Oh. It's them.” Mei glowered just as the bedroom window opened and Lan Fan rolled in. Ling swung his legs over the ledge to sit proudly on the sill and everyone stared in blank horror.

“You’re uninvited.” Ed deadpanned on instinct.

“Finally, something we agree on.” Mei sighed, squishing her cheeks.

“I’m hurt! I did not just make the entrance of the century to be attacked like this!” Ling defended himself, putting his hands on his hips while Lan Fan rolled her eyes and patted his shoulder in comfort.

“That window was locked, how did you- know what? I don’t want to know.” Al said with a giggle, pushing his hair back with one hand.

“Where’s Paninya?” Lan Fan asked, eyes darting around the room. “Is she late?”

“Um...” Winry answered dumbly, still staring at Lan Fan.

“She’s not here, yet.” Mei filled in, giving Winry a meaningful look.

“Hey, Ling, did you straight up scale the house?”

“Why, Edward, did you expect anything less from me?”

“Yes. Now teach me how to do that.”

“Please, don’t. He finally stopped doing his stunts so often.” Alphonse pleaded.

“Please, do!” Ed challenged with a wicked grin. “I can teach you how to do the splits!”

“I’m sorry, Al, Ed makes a pretty good offer!” Ling chuckled and nodded towards Ed. “Tomorrow, okay?”

“Yes!”

“No!”

“I agree with his brother. He’s just going to hurt himself.” Lan Fan frowned as the doorbell rang for the final time that night. Winry was down the stairs before anyone could say anything.

“That better be the last time anyone needs to go downstairs. I’ve thought the word ‘stairs’ so many times this night I feel like I need to invent a new word for them.” Edward groaned, laying down on the floor.

“Steps.” Ed shot up.

“What?” Ed hissed.

“Steps?” Lan Fan repeated looking unsure as she twirled a lock of her hair. “I believe that’s a synonym.”

“You’re telling me I’ve had the word stairs on repeat in my head all day long for nothing?” He gesticulated wildly before groaning. “Why is my brain dumb.”

“You’re just bad at English. And all other languages. Communication, in general.” Alphonse smirked. “Tu aimes ton ami, oui, mon petit frére?”

“Oh, you ass-”

“In French!”

“Saint merde, je déteste tous! Je… Je ne suis pas? Petit, tu es grand et… pénible?”

“Oh, my god.” Alphonse snickered. “You missed every accent in there.”

“Wait, is Ed finally not good at something?” Ling jumped in with excitement.

“Don’t get ahead of yourself! Al knows German and so does Ed.” Mei bragged, just as eager. She was willing to praise Ed if it meant insulting Ling.

“Yeah, and even if he’s not too good at English or French, he knows German well enough.” Al defended, pausing to amend that. “Well, he knows how to write it.”

“Edward Elric!” Echoed up the stairs, followed by angry footsteps.

“Uh oh...”

“Ed, what did you do?” Al paused, trying to figure out if Winry was actually angry or not.

“I don’t know!”

“Are you sure?” Mei beamed. She was ready to see Winry scold Edward like a child.

“Ed,” Winry huffed, finally entering the room with two bags of popcorn and Paninya trailing behind her. She also appeared to have made some sort of pasta, though, who knows where she got the ingredients. “What did I ask you to do this morning?”

“Wake up? I think I succeeded on that one.”

“Try again!” Paninya chirped in response while handing a plate to Al and Mei with a smile before unceremoniously dropping Ed’s plate on his lap. He was lucky to catch it- he was still in Winry’s clothes.

“To paint your nails? What are you- oh.” He trailed off. “Uh, sorry?”

“Is that a question?” Winry glared, crossing her arms the best she could while still holding her popcorn.

“No?”

“I’m confused, what did he do?” Ling finally sat down

“Spilled nail polish and never cleaned it up.” She pouted. “There’s a stain on the counter now!”

“In my defense, we had school.”

“You couldn’t clean it up while we were waiting for everyone?”

“Nobody would even know if you didn’t mention it!”

“Like you didn’t mention your leg? Yeah, I just took away your chance to make a joke!” She smiled proudly, finally tossing Ling and Paninya each a bag of popcorn. Paninya, as a true soccer lesbian, caught it effortlessly while Ling fumbled with it until Lan Fan sighed and took it from him.

“Wait, his leg?” Ling frowned, tilting his head before opening his eyes in dawning horror. “Wait, don’t tell me…”

“I am not taking my leg off, not in these jeans.” He scowled, flipping off Winry. “I was totally going to hit someone with it! Someday.”

“Too bad! Now you have to explain the stain on the counter to gran someday!”

“I’m sure this is like, a huge deal or whatever, but Ed.” Paninya paused, steepling her fingers. “What if we swapped legs.”

“You’re too tall for him.” Alphonse smirked, smugly twirling up his pasta.

“Traitor.” Ed hissed.

“Its true, Edward! You’re a midget. A disappointing midget.” Mei looked away dramatically for a moment only to take a bite of her own noodles. “You’re practically a dwarf.”

“Yeah, well you’re shorter than me! What does that make you, a gnome?”

“How tall are you, actually? I know you’ve grown some since we met.” Ling offered kindly, grabbing popcorn from Lan Fan even as she shoved him away. Everyone seemed to have already skipped over the whole ‘missing limb’ thing- that was just how it was with life. Mostly the Elrics, but also life.

“Five two.”

“Ed.” Winry pressed.

“… Four eleven.”

“Still, four inches more than last year.” Winry shrugged. “Anyways, I’m five foot six!”

“Five seven!” Paninya butted in, smiling proudly as she devoured her own bag.

“Five three.” Lan Fan grinned, lording her single inch over Edward.

“I’m five seven, too, Paninya!” Alphonse beamed, holding his hand out for a high five. The resounding smack had Al pulling his arm protectively towards his body. “What the heck, Ninya?”

“I go hard! What about you, Mei?”

“I’m four foot four, thank you very much!” She pouted, taking an almost aggressive bite of her food. “I still have time to grow!”

“I’m five eight!” Ling smiled serenely. “I’ve got you all beat!”

“Maybe the rest of us, but Alphonse is still young. How tall was your father, again?”

“Six feet and one inch of pure asshole.” Ed growled, setting aside his pasta.

“Wow, what happened to you?” Lan Fan raised an eyebrow. “Is your mother very short?”

“She’s. . .” Ed pursed his lips, looking away. She wasn’t dead. It was a pitiful bit of compensation for such a thing.

“Lan Fan, our mom is comatose.” Al continued softly. “She is five foot five if you must know.”

“My apologies, Elric brothers.” Lan Fan ducked her head, stilling with the rest of the room. Ling snuck one hand out to hold hers with a reassuring squeeze. They weren’t around during the time of the accident and after all, nobody truly knew what was up with the Elric brothers. Except Winry, hopefully.

“Oh, come on! Don’t be like that. What happened to making fun of me?” Ed scoffed, finally taking a bite off his plate almost forcefully.

“We’ll never stop teasing you, Ed. Who wants to play truth or dare?” Winry carefully redirected, long used to all the sensitive topics that came with the Elric brothers. Truth or dare was always a favorite- Ed pulled the worst kinds of stunts, even when recovering from surgery.

“I’d say we’re all in,” Paninya declared, pointing at Lan Fan with one decisive movement. “Lan! Truth or dare?”

“Dare.”

“Is this how the game is-”

“Shush!” Paninya huffed, turning her nose up at Ling. “It's how we’re playing it.”

“Yes, now what do you want for me to do?” Lan Fan agreed, a subtle glint in her eye.

“I dare you to punch Ling.”

“What!?”

“Awh, come on, Lanny!” He tried, bumping shoulders with her. “This is Amestris! Go ahead.”

“What does being in Amestris have to do with it?” Winry frowned, seeing Lan Fan’s hands shake even as she curled them into fists.

“Violence is way more normalized here,” he covered smoothly as Lan Fan barely poked him with her fist. “Oh, you can do better!”

“You don’t have to, Lan Fan.” Paninya butted in, waving at the rest of the room. “You choose the next person now!”

“Mei, truth or dare.”

“Dare.”

There was tension between them for a moment, a clear challenge not unlike their usual tiffs before Lan Fan spoke.

“I dare you to reveal wherever you hid Xiao Mei.”

“Hey, how did you know about that?” She spluttered, coughing into her hand. Al weakly patted her shoulder in comfort.

“I didn’t,” she admitted amicably. “I just can’t imagine you’d leave them anywhere alone.”

“Ugh. They’re in my pillow case.” She admitted, reaching out and pulling…

“I’m so fucking sorry, is that a cat?” Ed actually backed away from it, staring suspiciously.

“No! Xiao Mei is a panda!”

“She has a disease so that she will never grow up.” Lan Fan explained, oddly charmed by the small creature.

“She’s a what?” He asked flatly, blatantly staring at them.

“Isn’t that a type of bear?” Alphonse frowned, leaning closer and breaking out into a smile. “Awh, she’s so tiny!”

“Did you bring a bear into my house, Mei?” Winry blinked. She wasn't exactly opposed- she let Ed in the house after all and he was far more violent and probably shed twice as much as Xiao Mei.

“I couldn’t just leave her!”

“I think she’s cute.” Alphonse defended, brushing a hand over her head. “Look! She likes me!”

“Is it all right if I take a picture? We don’t have pandas here!” Paninya shook her phone lightly. She didn’t do puppy eyes as well as the Elrics or Winry, but she managed a small pout and a flutter of her eyelashes.

“Um, I guess so. Just don’t post it anywhere, ‘kay?” Mei scooted away, leaving Alphonse to hold her. “Uh… She’s not exactly supposed to be here.”

“You smuggled her in? Sick.” Ed nodded.

“Yep!” Mei giggled, leaning back in after Paninya was finished to hold Xiao Mei. “Ling, truth or dare?”

“Truth!” He agreed easily, cocking his head at her.

“Do you have a crush on anybody?”

“Yep!”

“Who?”

“Can’t tell you, it wasn’t in the original question!” He hummed. “I don’t have to tell you anything.”

“Of course you’d say that.” Mei bemoaned, sneaking a glance at Ed to see his searching expression.

“Al, truth or dare?”

“Truth, please.” He smiled softly, scritching under Xiao Mei’s chin. “I think that will even the truth to dare ratio.”

“What’s something you’ve never told anyone?”

Alphonse froze on the spot, hesitating and buying himself time by smoothing over the panda’s soft fur. He didn’t know what to say. Anything he could would be too personal or even dangerous. All the obvious ones couldn’t count- Ed and Win knew he had a crush on Mei or about that time he accidentally triggered the fire alarm in his chemistry classroom.

“Al?” Ed inquired, slowly standing to sit on the couch instead of the floor. The eye contact made everything worse- Al knew what he was asking, are you okay, do you need a save, but all he could think was how much easier it would be to see his disappointment at this level.

“I, uh,” he chuckled nervously. “I told Paninya about that time you ate an ant?”

“Why?” Ling whispered, but went unheard.

“That doesn’t count, she already knew that.” Ed pressed, leaning closer and propping his elbow up on the armrest. His plate was abandoned on the floor and Mei’s newly cleaned plate was set down to join his. “Come on, give us something juicy.”

“Ed,” Alphonse started slowly, watching his hackles rise the same as they always did when he thought something bad was about to happen. “I haven’t been honest with you.” He had to say this now or he never would.

“Al, come on, you’re scaring me.” He joked easily, but his voice quivered as he said it. His feet planted on the ground, he was ready to run. Or possibly jump out the window depending on how this went.

“I lied to you, brother.” He took a deep breath.

“I kept our father’s journals.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "i mean to be fair he did want something juicy. be careful what you wish for eddy boy" -my fantastic beta, scrapmetal!! go check out their fic https://archiveofourown.org/works/16572569/chapters/38833217 i lov their writing

**Author's Note:**

> im so sorry if u actually read that u a real one


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